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" As those thoughts ran through his head, his demeanor softened but the guilt of his betrayal resounded with a thundering vengeance. How could he have done this to her, his love, his partner?Ruth suddenly got very serious and her voice was low and hard. "John, for the past few weeks I have cried over you, got depressed because of you, hated you, been sick about you, grieved for us and me and still ... I love you. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! How could you do this to me? To us ... to ME!!!?" She was crying, no, sobbing now and her small fists thumped on his chest. John pulled her close and held her as she sobbed.His eyes filled with tears, his body shaking with the force of his own emotion. He rocked her gently and kept repeating, "I am so sorry ... so sorry..."She continued to sob, and periodically hit him with her clenched fists saying, "you broke your promise ... broke your promise..."The minutes ticked by as they sobbed together, clinging to each other tightly for mutual support for. Not that this had been the first time ? he had done this too often during the last months, much too often since his wife has left him. His glance locked again with the slim, clear bottle which was sitting on the table. It urged him, whispered silent promises of easy oblivion. But he still resisted. He did not want to become a captive of alcohol, one of those run-down figures he had always despised all his life. This would certainly be the last triumph for both his wife and his daughter to see him becoming a worthless piece of junk, living from the refuse of society, begging for a piece of money to buy some cheap booze, himself nothing more than a reject of humanity. He felt again the hatred creeping up in him, like he had felt it the last year when Dorothy and Susan had tried to top each other in the insults they showered him with. Why? He had never understood. They had been such a very happy family. Of course, he had to work quite a lot to pay for the house, to cover up all their.
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